(Source: weheartit.com, via canvasly)
no need to fill this silence
(Source: weheartit.com, via canvasly)
vienspats 1h
sad reality of (my)addiction/badhabits
is like you really did accomplish
something back there. it’s true people
change but there’s a truth to the
idea of “drowning” something out.
there’s parts that don’t come back.
knowing msyself means I signed off
on that agreement a long time ago.
cheating myself of chemicals in the
brain constantly? what did I expect,
feel good? long-term? being in the
present brings its own curses, i may
have slipt into that a bit too much. it
works in some ways, it works on the
day to day but years went by and I was
still stuck?? how? it took so many
vices to break that scale and realize
things are out of control. shoutout
Greg for the numerous wake up calls.
literally. it doesn’t change much about
where you’re at making the decision to
chose life over the dark but it’s where
i started. there’s no magical glow up
story, it’s a shitty grind that honestly
sucks but you can catch glimpses. it’s like
biking up a hill. you can briefly turn your head back around or take a break and rest - but you get a chance to see it. except that road never ends, and it’s still the same shitty uphill ride.
i miss the mountains already. I’ve been reminding myself with “you’re always where you need to be” ; a strong emphasis on the “need”…
(via hauntinglover)
one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.
- via duckbunny
(via love)
(via understands)
(via umutlucesur)